Who is this guy Larry Craig? I keep hearing about what he did on the potty. Something about tapping his foot and moving his hand. This doesn't seem to have come up in my potty training. No one said anything about keeping my feet wide apart. Besides, since Larry Craig was being good and using the potty, why is everyone saying he may have to leave the Senate? You know that astronaut who drove 900 miles wearing a diaper? She now says she wasn't really wearing a diaper. I don't believe her. She's probably embarassed that she pooped in the thing. I'm about to start pre-school, and my two teachers came over to visit yesterday. They seemed nice. I think I'd rather have them come here to play than my having to go sit in some dumb classroom.
I'm dying to find out who won the Iowa straw poll, but I'm traveling today and out of the loop. I really need my own cell phone so I can text my friends. (I can count to 20, so I should be able to hit the keys.) Actually, I don't care about the stupid straw poll but I'm curious about the fried Twinkies and other weird food you get to eat at these Iowa fairs. Speaking of food, I gave up my high chair this week. The whole plastic-tray thing was getting a little old. I now sit at the table with the grownups -- even though they don't let me drink soda or eat fries like other big people. How long do they think I'm going to be happy with these little juice boxes?
Dora the Explorer! Elmo! Cookie Monster! Did you see all the toys that were recalled? 967,000 Mattel toys. I can't count that high -- I can get up to about 22 -- but it sounds like a lot. What kind of garbage is Mattel making? I'm taking my business elsewhere. I'd rather draw my own toys with my crayon box than play with dangerous stuff. Meanwhile, I think I should get a driver's license. I mean, I couldn't drive any worse than Lindsay Lohan! I never drink anything stronger than apple juice. If I sit on a few phone books I can reach the wheel. Shouldn't it go by how responsible you are, not age? I even wear underwear -- uh, or would once I get out of diapers.
