Blogging Up a Storm

Why exactly did Scott McClellan get the boot? For saying the same things over and over again? (I do that all the time.) For being boring? (I used to watch his briefings before my naptime, to get me in the mood.) Maybe Bush didn't like him anymore? Is this like being voted off the island? Will Scottie ever be heard from again?
Meanwhile, I'm getting some bad press after going to a music class. When it was over, I went to two of the other kids and gave them big hugs. Now it was just a coincidence that those were the only boys in the class, and that I ignored the eight other girls. But the family gossips are blowing this up into some kind of romantic move on my part. Nothing could be further from the truth. I cannot comment on an internal personnel matter. I'll have to refer you to the Justice Department on that. (See, I've been watching a lot of briefings.) I may have to get my spokesman to put out a statement on this. The only problem: I don't have a spokesman. Uh, does anyone have a number for Scottie?

I've been watching the commercials more closely when the TV is on. Apparently, if I use one kind of soap, I can avoid cosmetic surgery. If I use Dove I can be a Real Woman, which seems to mean big. If I use Aveeno I can get some exfoliation. (That sounds kinda scary. Maybe I'll stick with bubble baths.) If I take Lipitor I can avoid heart problems. If I color my hair, I can look like Sarah Jessica Parker. (I don't think I have enough hair to make it worthwhile.) If I take Nasonex...I don't know, they have a cute bee who buzzes around but I don't know what it does. How do grownups afford all this stuff?
Everyone's talking about whether Don Rumsfeld should resign. Apparently he messed up a war or something. Doesn't that at least deserve a time out? And why are all these generals criticizing him? Was he mean to them? He keeps saying things like "golly" and "goodness gracious." Do all adults talk like that?

I was so riveted by the news that I stopped eating my vegetables. I just sat there in the high chair and watched. The Hammer is quitting! Bam! But no one ever explained why they call him that. Does he like to pound people? What exactly did he do wrong? And who is this Hardball guy who was interviewing Tom DeLay? Is he a baseball pitcher? Boy, this is more interesting than peas and carrots.
And what's all this talk about Katie Couric? A woman is going to deliver the news? Hello? I've only been around 16 months, but I've seen lots of women deliver the news. They all seem to use a lot of hair spray. So why is Katie going to make so much more money? Does it have anything to do with being..what was that word they kept using...perky? Maybe I should start working on my perkiness, in between my temper tantrums.