WHO, ME? I saw a book on Mommy's nightstand called The Difficult Child. I wonder who she's worried about. I did wail today because she wouldn't give me chocolate milk, but that doesn't make me difficult, does it? Hmm?

My third birthday party was a zoo. You probably think I'm exaggerating. There were plenty of kids and gronwups and bagels and I ate too much of my Dora the Explorer birthday cake. But that's not what I'm talking about. We had real animals. A man with a giant truck came with a pig, a llama and a small horse. Inside there were lots of bunny rabbits. And we got to pet them! I cried, though, when the rooster went cock-a-doodle-do. He would not be quiet. I went back in the house. Maybe it was a little too mucn excitement for me.
I wonder if there will be an article about this in the paper tomorrow.

I like the game of politics. I am going to run for president one day. In fact, I've been working on my platform. Apparently, you have to promise things to get people to vote for you. I promise to require all parents to spend money buying toys for their kids, and to give them cookies. They should be entitled to good books, like Danny and the Dinosaur and The Cat in the Hat. And everyone should be able to drive a car at the age of 5. This idea of waiting until you're 16 or 17 is old thinking, and I will speak for the new generation. Who else will look out for the interests of the pacifier population? Now if I can just get the grownups to lower the voting age...

In school I discovered a thing called a turntable. Have you ever heard of it? We put markers on it and it spins around. Then I came home and found that in the olden days people used them to play music. We even have these big round things in the basement called albums that have the songs on them. They are about the size of pizzas. I don't get it. Since you can't put them in the computer, how do you get them to download the songs you want?

I wanted to stay up last night to watch Saturday Night Live and see how Brian Williams did, but my parents thought it was too late. I never get to have any fun around here! I can never remember an anchorman hosting SNL in all the time I've been alive. Now I'll have to search for clips on YouTube.
The other big fight over here is over the poop wars. Apparently I'm expected to announce each time I have to go. How humiliating! Mostly I forget and say, "I made a mistake. I will tell you next time." This was not going over so well by the 175th time. But I'm too busy having fun to sit on a stupid old potty.