Santa brought me a present yesterday.
But I don't see how he got here since reindeer can't really fly. And Santa can't fly. So how does he visit everyone's house?
And why would Santa bring a present to someone who is Jewish? If you don't celebrate Christmas, how can you get a Christmas present? Why doesn't anyone ever explain these things?

I read a sentence aloud today. From the parental reaction, you'd have thought I had graduated college.
Here it is, when I was in the bookstore: "Courduroy has a picnic with 6 friends."
Oh, it was nothing.
Little do they know I've been secretly posting on this blog for years. You can't give all your secrets away.