I want to know more about the oil spill. I want to read a magazine article called "What the Spill Will Kill." Why can't they just clean up the oil? I saw some machine vacuuming it up on TV. Why are they getting oil in the middle of the ocean? Can't they put it in a giant container? I heard this means people won't go swimming at the beach. Maybe they could just take a shower afterward. It's all very confusing. Even the grown-ups can't explain it very well.
Besides, I've got my own problems. My sister fell out of her crib today. Destructo-Baby is starting to destroy herself.

I met Joe Biden today. He's the vice president of something or other. I heard he knows Obama.
Joe was funny, though, when we had our picture taken. He asked me if I was 16. Then he said I couldn't have a boyfriend or go on a date until I was 30. What's a date?
I met some guy named Rahm who everyone said was important, but he just looked like another boring grownup. And everyone fussed over Laurie. What's so great about a baby, anyway?
Joe had a big party at his house. His house is huge and has a lot of old paintings and stuff. They had hot dogs and cookies and ice cream and a cool magician under this tent in the backyard. Maybe he'll invite me back next year, since I didn't throw up.