I was attacked this week by a renegade rooster. Can you believe it? I was minding my own business, trying to feed the ducks at this little zoo, when this dumb animal snuck up behind me and started pecking away without so much as a cock a doodle doo! What was his problem? I will never trust roosters again, and maybe not chickens either. Does anyone know the name of a good lawyer?
Meanwhile, everyone is talking about Mel Gibson. Something about drinking--I don't know what, but it sounded stronger than milk--and driving too fast and something about Jews. I don't really get it, but who do these movie stars think they are? Oh, and he said something about owning Malibu. Well, I'm in Malibu right now and I don't see any signs showing that Mel runs the place. I just passed Moonshadows, where Mel drank whatever he was drinking, and it just looks like a shack along the ocean. I wanted to check it out, but apparently I'm not old enough. Why not? Don't they serve chocolate milk like every other place?