Finally, a woman for the evening news! Hooray! I now know what I wanna be when I grow up. Either that or Geena Davis in the White House, ordering a bunch of men around. So now there's a network anchor named Elizabeth. My only question is, why does she need that other guy, Bob whathisface? He'll only get in the way. Ms. Vargas is clearly the star. I heard that ABC is going for a younger demographic. Well, they've got me. Appealing to 1-year-olds should definitely help their numbers.
Meanwhile, I've now got a toy with Cookie Monster. But I hear he's gone all PC and is now trying to get kids to eat fruits and vegetables. What a sellout! How dumb do they think we are? Either he keeps chomping chocolate chips or I'm defecting to Elmo.