Hillary won Pennsylvania! Very exciting! But then everyone said she was going to lose. Now everyone seems down on Obama. Something about how he's no good at bowling and doesn't like to eat cheesesteaks. And the TV keeps showing this church guy shouting and using a bad word about America. I've decided politics is too hard to figure out. And this campaign has been going on for almost half my life.
I've got to make some money. I realized that it makes no sense to be giving away kisses for free. Why not charge? So I announced that kisses will now cost 4 dollars and 3 cents. I should be able to buy some nice stuff in no time.